To be honest, this past month has been very difficult. I've been trying to gather all of my emotions and thoughts and turn them into inspiring and empowering blog posts. The reason y'all have not heard from me in a while is that I haven't been able to do that. I started to sink into this gloomy state where I didn't know how to connect with you, my lovely readers, when I was having a hard time connecting with myself and my situation.
Several of you reached out to me and earnestly asked when I would be writing my next post. So in the midst of my gloom, your earnestness in waiting for my next post provided a still soft light. And this morning, in the middle of my accounting class, I brushed away a single tear and smiled to myself as I was reminded of why I even began this blog in the first place... To encourage and motivate others through the good and bad in life, by using the good and the bad in my life. Not just the good times, but the bad times as well. The times that are sometimes more difficult to share if you're trying to be a motivator because it's a habit to want people to think that you're an expert and you've got it all together. But in reality, you don't.
So I'll start by humbly saying this: I do not have it all together. I let my emotions control me most of the time and I easily worry. Sometimes I let past regrets haunt me and fears of the future taunt me. I don't share my good and bad experiences after I have gone through them and gained a lot of wisdom through the years. I share them as I am going through them, and as I myself am still learning. I don't blog to tell you the "dos" and "do not" of life. I blog to share my story and connect with my readers. With all that being said, as the pages of my story are continuously being filled with a certain situation, I have some things I feel the need to share with y'all.
This question has been on my mind for a while now: What now? I'm sure I'm not the only one who has asked this question. Maybe you've come to standstill or dead end with your job and you're asking yourself, "What now?" Maybe you're looking for a job and you feel you've exhausted all of your resources trying to find one, and asking "What now?" Maybe you're not sure about what you want to do and whether or not you should finish out your semester at college, so you say "What now?" Maybe you're trying to sell your house, but the offers just aren't being made, "What now?" Maybe you're tired of being let down and are losing hope that you'll ever find a mate, so again "What now?" Or maybe you're in a marriage with someone you have given so much to and they suddenly do not love you anymore...What now?
There have been several different times in my life that I've asked that question. It's so easy to ask it out of fear of what the future holds.
But if you live in fear of the future or in constant regret of the past, you will not truly live. If you dwell on the past or the future, you will miss the moment.
Take a second and think about that...
What is happening right now in your life that you might be missing out on because you're too busy thinking about what has happened or wondering what will happen?
There are going to be good times and there are going to be bad times. But through all times there are moments, and in those moments some of the most important pieces of our story are shaping who you are.
In these moments of my life right now, I am becoming a far more patient and understanding woman than I ever thought possible. I have so much love and support from my dearest friends. I'm connecting with other people who have gone through similar situations. And each of these moments that are happening is worth recognizing and finding peace through.
So maybe you're not sure what to do now. That's okay. You're going to be okay. There are choices you are going to have to make in a few minutes, tonight, tomorrow morning, and for the rest of your life. Just remember that in the midst of those choices, there are moments worth recognizing. You can remember what has happened in your life without meditating on the past. And you can move forward without fearing the future. But most importantly, do this without missing the moment.
Sincerely,
Adrienne
