Hello everyone. It’s been a few weeks since I last wrote, and I have so much to share with you all in this post. So get comfortable and I hope you stick with me through this until the end. I promise you, it’ll be worth it.
I didn’t think I’d make it…
It has been exactly one whole year since my world turned upside down, and I remember last July like it was just the other day. I was scared and sad, and it felt like it was the end of everything about me and my life, that I had known. But looking back now, I can only laugh to myself. What I thought was “the end of my life dreams,” turned out to be the beginning of my future. In one year, I’ve learned the most about life, love, relationships, and who I am to my very core. It was a process and a journey that I had to go through, in order to get to the right where I am now.
And that is here— An almost 23-year old doing life differently than she had originally planned. Yeah, there were quite a bit of doors that closed. Doors that I really wanted to remain open. But instead, they closed harshly, and in some ways painfully; like my heart got stuck between the door and the frame before it closed. I found myself staring at the closed door before me, blocking the path I was hoping to continue down. The worst part was, it wasn’t just one door. I’d eventually, pick myself up and turn down another path, to be met with another closed door…and another, and another.
There were several uncomfortable things that I had to learn this past year. I think these are things we all deserve to learn in our twenties, so we can carry this understanding with us moving forward. But no matter who you are or how old you are when you learn this, I hope this helps you on your own life journey, as it has mine.
The first uncomfortable thing to learn is that some people and relationships in your life, are temporary. We become adults and we realize that saying goodbye is a pretty common thing. You’ll realize that every one you’ll meet has their own life path, and you might not always be a part of it. You might say goodbye and meet new people at the same time. You’re going to outgrow certain people in your life. If your growth and your pursuit of mental, emotional, and spiritual health are upsetting to them and they refuse to support it, it’s time to move on. You have to understand that unhealthy people are going to have unhealthy reactions to the healthy choices you make in and for your own life. Sometimes it’s hard to accept the reality that people will walk in and out of our lives. It’s hard, because we love them. It’s hard to accept that some people are meant to stay in our hearts, but not in our lives. So when the door closes to that relationship in your life, know that there’s many more ahead of you. And although it might feel like a loss at first, it’s actually freeing that energy given, to be used elsewhere in another area or relationship in your life.
Which leads me to my second uncomfortable thing to learn.
Choosing where to give your energy isn’t always easy. You’re human, which means you only have a certain amount of energy to give. You have to look at the things you’re giving energy to and realize that even though you could keep trying to win someone’s approval or keep banging your fists against that closed door, you could also make the brave choice to take the energy you have left to a space that welcomes you. You have to become more aware of what’s really worth your energy and time. There are times in life where walking away is the best thing to do for the health of your heart, and who you are becoming; trusting that there is so much more ahead of you.
The third uncomfortable thing to learn is that you will not always get what you want. Those doors are going to close and life will most likely not go as planned. Sometimes the things we want, aren’t actually the things we need. And sometimes that’s simply because we haven’t actually taken the time to know ourselves. When those doors started closing all around me, I had to keep moving until suddenly there was an open one. And it was one that led to a path far better than what I had planned. It’s a path that has helped me discover so much more about myself and what I truly want now that I know who I truly am. When what we want matches what we need, that’s when we’ve discovered who we are.
The last uncomfortable thing I’m going to share, for now, is that you will feel messed up and broken down. You will face failures, rejections and make mistakes here and there. You’ll have confusion about reality and the things happening in your life. You’re going to get hurt, and sometimes you’ll start to lose yourself without realizing it. But it’s important to know that you will be okay, and what you’re feeling is actually pretty normal. All of us at some point, whether we want to admit it or not, have felt messed up. I did just this past year. The beginning of adulthood will absolutely be a mess and your life will be unpredictable at its best. But you’re not the only one. It’s all a part of the process and journey. Remember, growth is often painful. And becoming your true actual self is a process. Be gentle with yourself and be proud of everything that you’re doing to become who you’re meant to be.
The uncomfortable things that I had to learn were uncomfortable because I was growing; because I am growing. As you might already know, we don’t really grow when we stay in our comfort zone. So yeah, these things might be very uncomfortable to experience and learn, but just know that means you’re growing. Doors are going to close, and you might feel lost, but keep moving. When doors close to relationships in your life, keep moving and know that there are many more ahead. When doors close to areas you’ve been giving energy to, keep moving and know that there’s a space that welcomes you. When doors close to the things we want, keep moving and know that they aren’t the things we need. And when doors close and make you feel messed up, keep moving and know that it’s shaping you into becoming who you are meant to be.
Your life isn’t over because one door closed, or even five. Your dream doesn’t have to end just because you have to take a different path to get there. These uncomfortable things you’ve learned are going to put you right on the path that you need to be on; the path of healing, growth, and self-discovery.
Trust me, there is so much more ahead of you.
Sincerely,
Adrienne
